Being desperate, sad, angry, insecure... these are strong emotions that traumatiZed people carry. These emotions can trigger other people. And when triggered, anxiety kicks in. You may be reminded of your own feelings or experiences that you don't want to be reminded of. You may feel invaded and therefore controlled by the person who triggers.


All people manipulate, you could say that just a smile is a kind of manipulation, to show that you are harmless, to appease someone. But a smile is also genuinely human and empathetic. You may need to develop a survival strategy of appeasement.


Smiling to attract a victim is another matter entirely. The need to protect oneself is quite different from the behaviour of manipulative perpetrators. Manipulative disorder such as narcissistic personality disorder is quite different from PTSD, yet the same terms are often used to describe the behaviours.


Något annat som kan misstas för manipulation är dissociation. Men dissociation är att decimera. Manipulation att addera. Dissociation innebär att man förlorar sig själv på ett vis. Manipulation innebär att man lägger på något för att med vilja styra upp något.

You don't dissociate to get a reaction from others, this is not even on the map. You dissociate because you are traumatised and have to survive.


Peer pressure is a kind of manipulation. Peer pressure occurs in mental health care. Amidst all the madness, illness and suffering, triggers flying wildly through the air, boundaries and limits are needed. Okay, I get it. But wish the differences were made clear between behaviors. I know that when a group of authoritarian people call you sick, or weak, or hopeless, or manipulative, you feel that way. That's when mental health care becomes anti-care. If instead of manipulating, you treat people with respect, acceptance, trust, compassion, it'll be fine. Instead of dissociating, you can then start associating and come back to yourself, whatever you are carrying or working with.