Here I write about concepts and different forms of trauma-related diagnoses (written with some reluctance because we are first and foremost human beings, that we are all struggling and going somewhere, that we are all valuable and never objects.)


Trauma is not an illness in itself, but it can lead to what mental health professionals refer to as pathological conditions such as depression and psychosis. DID is trauma, not a disease, just as broken bones are not cancer. It is important to know what you are suffering from so that you can get help. However, I would like to protest against mental health services objectifying you and making you feel bad because you are struggling with something in your life.



Borderline or EIPS is a personality disorder that can be caused by innate vulnerability and/or trauma. It involves a fragile sense of self and difficulty regulating emotions, which expresses itself in sudden emotional outbursts, suicide attempts and a deep unmanageable fear of abandonment. It is a serious and painful condition that tragically leads to death for many. It needs to be treated properly and not confused with other people's diagnoses. The same applies to DID and C-PTSD.
People with borderline personality disorder can split up in a way that can resemble DID. However, there are many differences. The most obvious is the approach to the parts. For DID, the parts are powerlessness and pain. Never play or role play as the plethora of youtube videos exhibit. These people say they have DID, but DID is rare. With borderline, the parts can become imaginative characters or superheroes and arise as a result of the sense of self being unclear, undefinable. With DID, the parts are traumatised but the self is intact at the core, at least in my experience and I can only speak for myself. However, many have claimed that borderline and DID often occur together. But others say that is not the case, just because they may remind one another. Borderline is not DID, but different parts of DID can have different feelings and experiences that resemble the characteristics of borderline. Then again, we are human first and foremost, if you have been abandoned and betrayed you are afraid of relationships.


Then there is PTSD and C-PTSD, which are also confused with borderline and DID. Both PTSD and C-PTSD often involve various forms of dissociation, but not distinct personalities that take over uncontrollably. With C-PTSD, there is a feeling that one is a horrible person who deserved to be raped/abused. And this abuse has been going on for years. C-PTSD can occur in adulthood, unlike borderline and DID. With C-PTSD you feel a lack of trust in people and relationships, whereas with borderline you go from idealising to hating in three red seconds. A person with DID may have one part that distances themselves from all things relationships and another that is young and trusts too much. Some part may carry losses - which can certainly remind you of borderline fear number 1, being abandoned.
It is three different states:
Borderline, a feeling of not knowing who you are that causes tremendous pain. You distance yourself from yourself.
C-PTSD, a feeling that you are bad and that others want to hurt you. You distance yourself from relationships.
DID, I know who I am but there are others inside me who scare me with the traumas they carry and I have no control. You distance yourself from the trauma.


Personality disorders and dissociation

People with other types of personality disorder, such as narcissistic personality disorder, also have some, or possibly parts, with which they have more or less contact. This too is not DID.

What splits a person's identity or psyche and in what way is something we don't fully understand yet, we probably haven't got that far. Trauma and acute emotional pain are the catalyst, but while some become perpetrators, others become survivors. As for the empathy disturbers such as paedophiles, sadists, narcissists and psychopaths, an innocent part of them seems to be preserved while they otherwise enter into perpetrator behaviour. Hurting others must be some kind of horrific trauma to oneself, I think, that can cause division. At the same time, they are not powerless over their behaviour, they are responsible for what they have done to others and themselves. They are also capable of using their innocent part in manipulative games.
DID har ingenting med empatistörning och brottslighet att göra.


Dissociative states

Various dissociative states due to trauma are:
Dissociative amnesia: you do not remember large parts of your life.
Dissociative depersonalisation: you feel unreal and alienated, emotionally disconnected.
Dissociative derealisation: people experience acquaintances and their surroundings as strange or alien, sometimes with visual and auditory hallucinations.
Dissociative fuge: you wander off and wake up somewhere not knowing how you got there, confused.
Dissociation as physical symptoms: convulsions, muscle twitching, mutism or slurred speech, numbness, aching, pain, blindness, loss of consciousness.
DID: two or more identities uncontrollably taking over often accompanied by one or more of the above dissociative states.

OBS! There is no shame or guilt in surviving. Regardless of our different survival strategies, we are valuable and beautiful warriors. It's just a matter of getting rid of the oppression. As in any other context, it's great that we are different, vulnerability is beautiful and everyone matters.